I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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