I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
