it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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