Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
