how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
