I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
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