I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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