She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
