It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
