My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
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let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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