What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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