I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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