420 ftw
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
