I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
