I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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