I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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