the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
