Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
