I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
