I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
