After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
