my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just pynch a tree in the face
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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