Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Boobs speak an international language.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
