I don't usually arrange sex via text message
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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