i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
