I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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