you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Your tits are I can't wait for
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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