Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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