okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just high enough for therapy.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
