its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
