No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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