If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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