I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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