We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize