Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
