Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
