the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
