Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
