It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
