I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
