6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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