you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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