I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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