I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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