i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
