HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
