I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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