I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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