i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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