gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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