Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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