Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
