I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
