I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
