my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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