Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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