Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize