It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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