My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
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So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
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Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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