I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
