Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
