As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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